Change

Some people handle change very well, some don't. I fall somewhere in between. You see, big things do not faze me in the least. Student teaching, stressful, but fun. Graduation, eh, time to party. Getting a real job, sure, it'll happen, not worried.

See what I mean?

But it is the small things that make me freak out. It is when the smaller things happen, for instance I am used to seeing or speaking to someone every day, then I suddenly don't get to do either for a few days and it makes me worried, which in turn can annoy the one I didn't see or speak to for whatever reason. I can't help it. Big picture stuff doesn't get to me, it is the small stuff that I always read too much into. Sometimes though, I wonder if I really am reading too much in, or if once in a while I am actually right. I guess only time will tell, and if it is one thing I am not good at, it is waiting. I am trying to work on being patient and relaxing, because I know that I need to, but when I am worried about someone it is hard for me to do either.

Tonight will be my last night sleeping here I think. Since we're moving my bed out tomorrow, I think it is a pretty good assumption. That makes me sad. I wish Drake weren't busy so he could be here with me, as I am stupidly emotional about little things like this. I feel weird leaving this place, this is where we met. This is the living room where, so many mornings he would wake up on my futon and we'd talk for a few hours. Or the front porch, where our white trash neighbors had left some crayons - this was the very first night Drake and I really finally made a move, and we stayed up talking most of the night, though he did sleep on the futon because he didn't want to upset anyone who thought we shouldn't ever date - so we wrote on the steps "Princess" and I drew a crown, and Drake wrote, "Drake wuz here bitches". It's faint, but it is still there. I won't miss some things about this place, but I will miss the good memories. I just kind of wish Drake was here right now to pack them up with me.

Night all.